


A World in Grey

by coby (royallesters)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7841314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royallesters/pseuds/coby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil have been living their entire lives in blue and brown and shades of grey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 8:00 AM

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is bad it's my first fic L O L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gets a promotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil loved the color of the sea. The vibrant shades of blues cascading over the warm sand, bringing memories of family beach trips along with them. He also loved the sky, the bright blue that made the world seem brighter even when most of it was in grey. 
> 
> Phil also loved the color of the earth. The chocolatey brown that surrounded him every time he walked through the woods or tended to his garden. He loved the silky brown color of his dog, Buffy, and all of the layers that went into it. He loved the detailed trunks of the trees. Phil loved to see color, but most of the world was grey. 
> 
> Dan hated the color blue. The dark, sad shades of grey-blue pavement that lead him to his office. He hated the blank blue screen on his computer before opening up another countless document. Most of all, he hated occasional blue of the usually cloudy, grey sky that mocked him, promising a good day. Dan was glad most of the world was in grey. 
> 
> Dan also hated the color brown. The drab color that accompanied him almost nowhere in the concrete city he lived in. He hated the glimpse of earth he gets every day on his drive to work. He hated the natural world that mocked him, promising a day in which he wouldn't have to spend in the concrete wasteland. He hated the colors that let him glimpse into what the world could be. Who was he kidding? Dan hated that the world was grey.

**25/10/16; 8:00 a.m.**

   The loud, persistent beeping of Dan's alarm woke him. He kicked off his sheets, but laid there still, staring at the grey ceiling above him. Lazily, he shut off the alarm and trudged into the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself; tired, stressed, disheveled. He reached down and grabbed a brown contact out of its container. It wasn't uncommon to find an Unmatched wearing a contact of their natural eye color. Having two colored eyes was relatively acceptable these days, but some, more conservative, people looked down on those showing both of their colors. Well, this happened more than Dan liked to admit.

   He put the brown contact in his right eye and decided not to shower, just to spray dry shampoo through his messy hair and running a hand through it, trying to make it more presentable. He brushed his teeth, the grey striped toothpaste almost looking disgusting enough to skip it. Common sense defeated his own personal feelings once again.

   He made his way into his bedroom and stepped up to his closet. The shades of grey stared back at him sadly, and Dan cursed them silently. He tried his luck and grabbed what looked like a white shirt, black trousers, and a random tie from his collection of colorless fabric.

   Dan reluctantly put on his outfit and stood in front of the mirror, only able to take in the brown of his hair and eyes and the light blue spots on his tie. He stared at himself and let his mind wander. What was the point, really? What point was there in living if most of your life was spent in a colorless world, which can only be fixed if you meet a specific person of more than seven billion? _My life is already dull enough. It really wouldn't matter either way, would it?_ Dan thought bitterly.

   He was abruptly brought out of his seemingly endless train of thought as his phone started ringing. He quickly made his way over to his nightstand before answering it. "Hey, Mum."

   "Daniel, why do you sound so sad?" his mother immediately asked.

   He let out a frustrated breath, cursing himself. She was always so protective and loving and she was always worried about whether he was Matched or not. "I'm not, I'm just tired. I woke up not too long ago," he replied, lifting his voice.

   "Alright..." she trailed off. "I just wanted to know if you won the Lassiter case."

   Lassiter... Dan racked his brain. Oh, the case about the guy who attacked his wife, leaving her physically disabled. "Oh, yeah. He's locked up now."

   He could almost hear his mom smiling over the phone. "I'm so proud of you!"

   Dan couldn't help but smile a little at his mom's enthusiasm. "Thanks, Mum."

   "You're welcome, honey." She paused and sighed softly. "I'm taking your father to the hospital today to find out if it's cancer."

   "Oh... Okay."

   "Please pray for him, love."

   "Yeah..."

   "I love you, Dan."

   "Love you too, Mum."

   Dan hung up the phone and put it in his pant’s pocket. He ran another hand through his hair before walking out of his bedroom.

   He slowly made his way out his apartment building, smiling politely at the security guard standing outside the door. He stepped out onto the pavement before hailing a cab; Dan had never owned a car, but it wouldn't matter if he did. It was illegal for Unmatched to drive. A light grey car pulled up with the word "taxi" written on the side. "I'm just headed to Chancery Street," he said flatly to the cab driver.

   The taxi took him through the grey city, maneuvering the busy streets before dropping him off in front of his law firm, Cavenaugh and Associates, named for the founding manager. Dan handed the driver a £10 banknote. "Thanks, mate."

   He stepped into the large building, passing the usual smiling face of the receptionist, Connie. "Good morning, Mr. Howell," she greeted.

   "Please, Connie," he began, "you can call me Dan. I've told you multiple times."

   The woman just shook her head. "Nonsense. I respect you, and you’re my superior, so I'll use your proper title."

   "Well, I respect you and I don't call you Mrs. Rosenthal, do I?"

   "Please, Mr. Howell."

   Dan rolled his eyes but smiled. "Alright, Connie."

   "Have a nice day!" he heard Connie call after him as he walked to the elevator before happily greeting the next employee. 

   He leaned over and pushed the button with a "5" written on it large strokes. He stood there in silence as the elevator took him up to his floor. He made his way over to his small office, greeting his co-workers on the way, and sat down at his desk. Dan put pressure on his temples with the heels of his hands to try and alleviate his growing headache. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen. After double-checking the code on the pills (I-2), he popped four of them in his mouth and swallowed them with a swig of his water.

   Dan was about to open a document with information about a new client when the paralegal, Mike Lowery, walked into his office. "Mr. Howell?"

   "Yes, Mike?" Dan looked up at the other man, noticing an excited expression on his face. "What is it?"

   Mike smiled before looking behind him. Turning back to the lawyer, he continued. "Ms. Cavenaugh wants to talk to you."

   "About what?" Dan asked slowly, the other's enthusiasm making him slightly wary.

   Mike walked over to the desk. "No one's supposed to tell you, but you're being promoted to partner."

   "Oh..." Dan leaned back in his chair, taken aback. "I... I didn't know this was happening."

   "Well, no one was supposed to tell you, Dan."

   "Right." Dan let out a breath and looked down at his desk. "Can you tell Ms. Cavenaugh I'll be in her office shortly?”

   Mike nodded and smiled again. "Congratulations, Dan," he said fondly before quickly walking out of the office.

   Dan ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. He spun around in his chair, looking at the light grey ceiling. “Okay, Dan,” he said to himself in a low voice. “This is good. This is what you’ve always wanted. This is what your parents want for you. This isn’t just good, it’s _great_.” He rubbed his eyes, causing a burning pain in his right one. “Oh, shit,” he muttered angrily as the brown contact folded on his eye. He quickly removed it, minimizing the pain before throwing it in the trash can next to his desk. Dan held up his phone, observing his right eye, which was now it’s “natural” bright blue color.

   His eyes stared back at him in all the embarrassment they brought Dan around his family and co-workers. He knew it was considered improper to go around with both eye colors in professional environments, and that there would be no way his bosses would promote him looking like this. Dan guessed it was his own fault; he was stupid enough to rub his eyes. He looked up from his desk, noticing Ms. Cavenaugh and her assistant, making their way to his office door. Panicking for a second, Dan looked frantically around, scanning his office for anything ( _anything_ ) that would help him. He frantically searched through his desk drawers, hoping to find any extra contacts. Nothing. Biting his lip, he thought of possible options. _Sunglasses? No, too strange and obvious. Calling off sick? They’re literally standing right there, you idiot. Oh, right. How about just taking the old contact out of the garbage can? Are you kidding me, Dan? That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever considered doing. No, it’s really not. You’re right._ Dan sighed. _I guess I have to face them like this,_ he thought grimly.

   Taking a deep breath, Dan stood up from his chair, straightened his tie, and opened the door to his office. "You wanted to speak with me, Ms. Cavenaugh?" he asked.

   Maria Cavenaugh cleared her throat, slightly confused by Dan's eyes. "Yes, please follow me, Mr. Howell," she let out quickly, before turning away from Dan, trying not to make eye contact.

   Dan looked down at the ground as he followed his boss into her office, attempting to shield his eyes. It didn't work as he heard whispers about his blue eye throughout his co-workers. He glanced at Mike, who almost immediately avoided his gaze. Dan quickly sped into the large office of Ms. Cavenaugh before closing the door behind him.

   "Please, Mr. Howell, take a seat," the office manager offered. Dan made his way to the seat she was gesturing towards and looked at his boss, who was sitting across a large glass table from him. "Daniel," she began, clasping her hands on the table in front of her, "for years, we've seen you make your way from my assistant to a very intelligent and successful prosecutor." Dan took a deep breath through his nose. "Here at Cavenaugh and Associates, we have never seen a lawyer as young as you accomplish the amount you have in only three years. You've shown an incredible amount of ambition and dedication to our firm, and that's why," _here we go,_ Dan thought, "we would be honored to promote you to junior partner."

   Dan looked at the manager, her grey features smiling respectfully at him. He let his eyes sweep the room, quickly taking in the grey surroundings; the grey table, the grey people, the grey books. "Oh..." He trailed off, eyes looking at his hands. "Ms. Cavenaugh... I'm honored, I really am!" Dan paused, his eyes going past the woman's shoulder and outside at the grey buildings and grey cars and usual grey sky, with a tiny bit of blue here and there, mocking him of the world's potential. "It's just..."

   "Mr. Howell?"

   "I don't know if I can."

   " _What?_ "

   "It's nothing against you or this firm, I swear, it's just that-." Dan stopped himself before he could let out the next few words.

   Ms. Cavenaugh leaned forward slightly. "What is it, Mr. Howell?" she asked, her stern voice growing even more strained with each word.

   "I need to be happy."


	2. 8:00 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil realizes he isn't as happy as he thinks he is.

**25/10/16; 8:00 AM**

 

Phil Lester giggled softly as his dog, Buffy, jumped onto his bed and licked his face. "Good morning, Buffy," he said, scratching the dog's head.

The dog jumped off the bed and enthusiastically ran through the halls of Phil's home, before standing in front of the patio door, her tail wagging. "Alright, girl, hold on," Phil said tiredly before opening the door to his backyard. Buffy walked calmly onto the patio, sitting down just before the steps descended into the large yard. "Well, you certainly seem excited to go outside," he joked. "Silly girl."

Phil sat down next to her, scratching behind her ear. He gazed out onto the grey scenery in front of him, color only visible in the tree trunks and the little blue flowers that grew at the edge of the wooded area behind his home.

His attention was drawn to a soft knock on the patio door. Phil looked up to see one of his roommates, Harry Witten, leaning against the doorframe. "Morning, Phil," he greeted.

"Good morning, Harry."

"Um, Maryn's made breakfast, and we're all waiting for you if you want some."

"Oh, yeah," Phil replied. "I just need to put on Buffy's leash."

Harry nodded and turned to leave. Stopping himself, he added, "I know you're working tonight, but I was wondering if you could make it to the meeting after you come home."

Phil attached the leash to Buffy's dark blue collar. "Oh... Yeah, I'll try to come. I'll talk to my boss to see if I can leave work early."

"Alright..." Harry looked at the ground. "Well, you ready?"

Nodding, Phil stood up. "Yeah."

The two walked over to the kitchen table, where one of their roommates, Sami Jameson, was already sitting.

"Mornin', Phil," she said, stuffing a pancake in her mouth.

"G'morning, Sami." He stared at her as she chewed animatedly before washing her food down with a large swig of coffee. "You in a hurry?" he asked his friend, only half joking.

"Nah, I just wanted to see if I could finish eating my food before Maryn gets off the phone with her stupid boyfriend," she explained, voice suddenly low and almost slurred as she said the last word. "I don't get why she's so obsessed with him. He's kind of a douche." Another sip of coffee. "Plus, they aren't even Matches. I don't know why she's wasting her time on him."

Phil nudged her arm. "What, have a little crush?"

Sami just scoffed and crossed her arms. "No. She's just my friend, and I know she's going to get hurt. Eventually, they're either going to break up, or one of them is going to be Matched. It's practically inevitable."

From across the table, Harry cleared his throat. "Not everyone is Matched, Sami. Plus, it is possible to fall in love with someone who isn't your match."

In response, the girl just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, freedom of expression and all that, yadda yadda."

Harry just raised an eyebrow. "I see you've been doing your homework."

Sami did a semi-salute. "Oh, yeah, sticking with the RFTU organization, how fun," she responded sarcastically.

Phil chuckled softly and looked at Harry. "I'm pretty sure she just wants you to leave her alone about joining RFTU."

Just then, Maryn walked into the room. "Why are we talking about RFTU?" she asked, her phone in her hand.

"How Sami refuses to join it and Harry is pissed," Phil explained before taking a bite of a pancake. "Food is good, by the way."

"Thanks," replied Maryn, taking a seat next to Harry. "I made sure to make extra bacon. Someone ate it all yesterday," she said staring at Sami, who was still arguing with Harry.

"I'm just saying, RFTU isn't really any different than Les Appariés!" Sami exclaimed angrily.

Maryn made a hissing noise through her teeth. "Sami, hon, that's like saying Black Lives Matter is the same as the KKK."

Harry glowered at Sami. "RFTU doesn't go around killing people because their eyes are two different colors."

"It's still a large group that has very radical ideas based on bias. Almost everyone in RFTU is an Unmatched!"

Harry threw his hands into the air. "That's the point, Sami! RTFU is a place for Unmatched to help other Unmatched."

Maryn looked across the table at Phil, who was eating his breakfast in intentional silence. "What do you think, Phil?"

Phil's eyes flicked from his plate to Maryn, then to Harry, then to Sami (a very angry looking Sami), before finally landing on his plate. "Um... I think that it goes a bit far to compare Rights for the Unmatched to Les Appariés, considering one is peaceful and inclusive while the other, like Harry put it, kills Unmatched."

His cheeks flushed pink as Sami bore an expression that said, "I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't defend me, I'm your friend, too".

"But, also," Phil continued, looking at Harry, "I believe that whether or not Sami joins RFTU is her choice, and her choice only." He wiped his mouth with his napkin awkwardly before standing up. "I'm sorry, but I have to get ready for work."

As he walked from the kitchen table, he flinched slightly as he heard Maryn sigh as Sami and Harry continued to argue.

He went out to the back patio to check on Buffy, who was sleeping comfortably on the deck. He had to remember to tell someone to let her in later. Phil made his way into his bedroom, where he grabbed his apron and name tag (along with his chosen top and pants for the day: a plaid shirt that looked like some dark color and black, and what were probably black pants–he couldn't see any trace of blue in them).

Phil got dressed quickly in the bathroom before brushing his teeth with the gross grey-and-white-looking toothpaste. He fixed his hair in the mirror and looked at his reflection. Two eyes, blue and brown, stared back at him. His skin was a light grey (almost white, as Sami sometimes says, jokingly) in contrast with his obviously black hair.

The sight almost made him sad for a moment.

Almost.

But he remembered how lucky he was, blessed with his friends, and family, and his dog.

It didn't matter that he could only see in blue, brown, and shades of grey.

He was able to appreciate everything else life had given him. He didn't understand how some people, especially those associated with Les Appariés, failed to realize that happiness and acceptance didn't rely on whether your eyes were two different colors or if you could only see in those colors.

Phil knew many Matched people didn't love their Matches, despite the meaning of being Matched. He grew up hearing fairytales of how amazing it would be when you met your Match. Your soulmate. But so many of them were unhappy. Maybe that's why so many of them acted out towards those who were still Unmatched.

People who were still Unmatched had an opportunity to be happy, Phil supposed.

But, if that was the case, how come he wasn't as happy as he told himself he was?

He just needed to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow holy shit it's been like three years sorry about that @ the two people maybe reading this. 
> 
> btw i also have a wattpad where i'm posting this (i also include a cast a playlist thing idk it's fun). the account is: @dansblacknailpolish
> 
> i also have another wattpad where i post original stories if that's also your jam:  
> @tapdancingmckinley


	3. 9:30 AM

"What do you mean, you need to be happy?" Ms. Cavenough asked, as one of her grey eyebrows lifted.

Dan leaned back in his chair. "I can't be happy stuck here in the same job my whole life with no purpose," he half-explained.

"Mr. Howell, we're offering you a new job, I-I..." her voice trailed off, a confused smile on her face. Her face softened slightly as she realized... "Is this about...?" she gestured to her own eyes.

Dan looked at hands, which were clenched tightly in his lap, as he felt his cheeks grow hot. Shaking his head, he looked back at his boss. "I'm sorry, Ms. Cavenough." He laughed softly. "I have to quit."

Ms. Cavenough scoffed loudly, looking at the man sitting next to her. He shrugged, seeming just as confused and caught off-guard. Looking back at Dan, she continued, "Is this your two-weeks notice?"

"No, no, I have to quit now."

She raised her eyebrow again. "You know, Mr. Howell, this won't bode well for you finding work somewhere else. Even if you do try to find a different law firm, you know we're the top firm in London. In this entire area, even."

"I'm aware," Dan responded, nodding slowly. "But I assure, Ms. Cavenough, I can hold my own."

"We here at Cavenough and Associates don't doubt that. We... we wish you well, Mr. Howell." Ms. Cavenough stood up from her chair and held out a hand for Dan to shake.

"Thank you for the opportunity," Dan said as he shook his former boss' hand.

Ms. Cavenough just smiled politely.

And so did Dan.

As Dan walked out of the meeting room, Mike walked briskly up to him. "So, how did it go?" he asked (still not making eye contact, Dan noticed). "I saw you guys shaking hands. And you smiled at her, which was unusual."

"I didn't get the promotion."

Mike stopped in his tracks before pulling Dan back by putting a hand on his shoulder. "You didn't get it? But Ms. Cavenough told me directly you were going to get it."

Dan shook his head. "No, sorry, I got it."

"Then what is it?"

The brunet rubbed his right eye; it was still itchy. "I quit."

Mike's own eyes (both brown now, but usually one brown, one green) widened. "You what?!" he almost shouted. He glanced quickly looked around at his coworkers, as he was drawing stares. "You what?" he repeated, just slightly quieter.

Dan shrugged, pushing the door to his former office open. "I quit."

The paralegal stood in the doorway as Dan began taking the contents of his desk out of the drawers. "So you're leaving in two weeks?"

"No, I'm leaving now," Dan replied, looking up and smiling widely. Uncharacteristically.

Mike shook his head and closed the door behind him. "Leaving now? Dan, you gave no notice. What brought this on?"

Said lawyer sat down in his chair, in an almost exhausted manner. "I'm not happy, Mike. I spend all of my time stuck at this job that I never really enjoyed in the first place. In all honesty, I'm just doing it to please my parents, but I doubt my career is the last of their problems right now." He gestured to the objects on his desk. "I can't see any colors other than brown and blue, and it's awful." Letting out a sad laugh, he looked at Mike, who was looking at his own feet. "I can't live like this, Mike. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do after I leave, but I'll figure it out eventually."

Mike shook his head at his feet, almost angrily. "Dan, you can't just quit because you're sad. I will bet you that half the people out there aren't satisfied just seeing in grey, but they don't let that inhibit their ability to do their job. Hell, I'm one of them." He looked up. "Don't do this. Go back in there, and ask for your job back, please. You're basically committing career suicide by quitting now." Mike made quiet incoherent noises as Dan walked towards him. "Dan, don't leave."

"I'm sorry," replied Dan before pulling him into a hug. Mike didn't return it, but just stood there limply. "I'm going to miss you," he stated quietly.

"I'll miss you, too."

—

Leaving the law firm was difficult for Dan. The feeling of eyes burning into his back as he walked towards the elevator before saying goodbye for the last time was almost overwhelming. All of his items from the years he worked there somehow fit into a small box that he just held in his arms, and yet they felt like they weighed a hundred pounds. Each step he took out of the building felt as if some entity was pulling him back. 

Dan couldn't believe he had done it. What he felt was a stomach-churning combination of anxiety, excitement, and overall confusion. He just found himself standing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the building, holding that small box. He felt nauseous. 

He continued to feel nauseous as he sat in the backseat of yet another taxi, staring at the shades of grey blurring by outside of the window. Dan could hear the driver trying to make conversation, but all he could do was reply with half-enthused 'yeah's as the realization sunk into him. 

The first thing Dan did when he got into his apartment was throw up into the toilet. The brunet sat at the base of it, tired and at a loss of what to do. Disbelief of his actions consumed his mind as all he could think about was the future that lay in front of him. 

Where would he get his money from? How would he ever get a job in the future? Would he have a future? 

He shuddered as he flushed the toilet before going to wash his hands and brush his teeth again, ignoring the grey paste that sat on his toothbrush. He took a shower after that, not bothering to straightening his hair after drying off. 

All he felt was tired.

Dan somehow felt himself making his way over to the large window in his room that overlooked the busy streets of central London. All the sight did was make his stomach turn again, resulting in him shitting his eyes. 

Coffee. He needed coffee. 

Grabbing his wallet and coat, Dan took one last look into the mirror, staring at his grey skin, brown curls, and the two mismatched eyes that looked like they were judging right back at him. 

Dan thanked whatever he believed in that the coffee shop was only a few minutes walk away. The dizziness that overcame him was getting to be too much and all he needed was a cup of coffee and to sit. 

The coffee shop was a small one, one that Dan had personally never been to, but had heard great things about. The inside was warm and inviting. It wasn't too busy in terms of customers and decorations, allowing Dan to calm himself for a moment. His eyes were closed before he found himself at the front of the line. 

The barista was another man, also with blue and brown eyes. His hair was black and straight, swept to the right side of his face. The name tag pinned to his plaid shirt read 'Phil'. "Good morning, sir!" the barista greeted, happiness tracing his voice. 

Dan returned the salutations with a polite smile and small "hello". 

"What can I get for you today?" 

Dan rubbed his right eye and replied, "just a small black coffee is fine". 

Phil replied with a short "of course" and smile. Due to there not being any other customers behind Dan, Phil poured the freshly brewed coffee into a small cardboard cup before making his way to the cash register. 

Holding it out to Dan, he said, "that'll be $2.75, please." 

Dan smiled before grabbing the cup from Phil's hand, their fingers brushing slightly.

After setting the cup back down, he grabbed his wallet and pulled out his debit card. "Is it a chip or do I slide?" he asked, looking back up at Phil, who was just staring at him, mouth agape. "Wha..." 

The man standing in front of him had blue eyes, pale skin, and was wearing a red plaid shirt. 

Red.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment and/or leave kudos if you want me to continue this! :) Check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg_vUgzEqCsAHlrg21njVzA if you want to.


End file.
